dickfiguresfanonfandomcom-20200214-history
LEZ II: The Overbearing
Derek cheers up Red with a little sorority house fun. Characters *Derek *Red *Lesbians Transcript (Derek and Red are drinking at a bar.) Derek: God...I can't believe we've been at this for a year. Red: Yeah, I'm pretty tired of it. Derek: What do you mean? Red: Well, making constant episodes one after the other in a crazy schedule just to get...maybe one comment? Is it worth it? (Derek looks at Red in silence.) Derek: Yeah...I guess. But hey, at least we're having fun! Red: Sure. Derek: Here, I know somethin' that will cheer you up. Red: And what is that? (Cut to Derek and Red in a Lamborghini, driving towards the LEZ sorority house.) Red: AW YEAH! This place is sick as hell, the bitches are awesome! Derek: I know right! (They crash the Lamborghini into the house.) Derek and Red: 'Sup, ladies. Lesbian 1: Oh my god! I remember you, Red boy! Red: Of course of do. Lesbian 2: We should give these guys a lap dance! All lesbians: YEAH! (Suddenly, all the lights go out, and a ghostly figure rises from the shadows.) Ghost Broseph: Did you miss me? Lesbian 3: Wait a minute, aren't you that Broseph douche that sabotaged our party a year ago? Ghost Broseph: Uhh... Lesbian 5: Yeah, he was! Lesbian 2: Let's get 'em! (They all pounce onto Ghost Broseph, but being a ghost, they have no affect.) Ghost Broseph: You guys know that I'm a spirit, right? Red: I know how to take care of you, Broseph! Ghost Broseph: Hey Red! I thought we were buds! You know, homies! Red: Bitch, you ain't nothin! (He grabs a bottle of sage from his pocket, and chucks it at Broseph.) Ghost Broseph: AGGGH! IT BURNS! HELP ME! Red: Have Satan help you when you arrive, bitch. (Broseph begins to descend into the Earth's core, and lands in Filler Hell.) Broseph: Wait, filler hell? Satan: Yep. Only the most useless characters in all of the Dick Sticks canon come here. Broseph: But I'm a main character in the show this show is paroding! (Satan looks towards ionixmusic, who is sitting at a broken down computer, writing fics.) Satan: Is that true, O Great One? ionixmusic: Nope. Satan: Alright. Broseph: WHAT?! ionixmusic: Sorry, man. Can't mess with the canon. (ionixmusic pulls a lever, and sends Broseph to a fiery demise.) Broseph: FUCK YOU, MUSIC! ionixmusic: Thanks! (ionix pulls out a walkie talkie from his desk.) ionixmusic: Derek, meet me in my office, please. (Derek falls down into hell, then walks over to ionix.) Derek: Yes, sir? ionixmusic: Which Season 3 episodes do you plan to appear in? Derek: Well sir, I'm thinking The Everyman, Darker and Edgier (and Sluttier), and Stultus Cadet. (ionix enters the episodes into his schedule planner.) ionixmusic: Alright. I'll send 'ya back up. (He pulls a lever which brings down a tube. Derek is sucked into the tube and is sent back to the sorority house.) Derek: Sorry, had to do something. Red: It's all cool. Lesbian 2: You can do me anyday. Derek: Sure, sweetcheeks. (Derek, Red and all the Lesbians start having a party, as the scene pans back to reveal a picture book with the party, and ionix sitting a leather chair with a pipe in his mouth.) ionixmusic: Haha! What a wonderful story, don't you think? You know, it's weird to think that I've been reading stories to you for a year now. Although with some schedule screw-ups. It's all apart of being human, I guess. Well, I hope you enjoyed this first year of Dick Sticks storytime fun! Make sure to leave room in your calendar for the next year! (He takes a smoke of his pipe.) ionixmusic: Well, what are you waiting for? Run along, now, and have fun! (He takes another smoke of the pipe but gags.) ionixmusic: God, this shit is fucking disgusting! (He smashes the camera, toppling it over onto the ground, as the scene ends with static.) What did you think of this episode? Gross. (1/5) Less gross. (2/5) Good. (3/5) Better. (4/5) Awesome! (5/5) Category:Episodes Category:Dick Sticks Category:June Releases